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Gary Strodders shank 1:20 Sun Apr 12
Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Running in for a catch from the boundary line at Southall cricket club.
Seven pints and a curry the night before it didn’t end well.

Ronald_antly 12:06 Tue Apr 14
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

I usually shit in the downstairs toilet, but I did once use the upstairs facility.
So, I suppose you could say that was unusual.

penners28 11:59 Tue Apr 14
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

The queens private bog at the millennium stadium

wasnt lavish at all

claret upstart 11:40 Tue Apr 14
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Orange bucket in a Homebase display shed.

geoffpikey 8:20 Mon Apr 13
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

A Haven Holiday Park in Wales

Pi Alpha Nu 4:01 Mon Apr 13
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

After an all day session in the pub i got the night bus home as I got off it I had that pain in the guts that told me I needed to go for a dump. There was no way I was going to make it home so I had to do a dump in the middle of The White Heart Roundabout in Yeading.

eusebiovic 3:20 Mon Apr 13
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

I was invited to a dinner at The Ivy by a posh bird who my missus went to art college with.

I don't tend to have any stomach or digestion problems...well, nothing notable worth mentioning in comparison to many others.

While waiting to meet her I probably had one too many espressos at the Caffe Veragamo on Charing Cross Road because by the time we were in the Ivy my guts were churning and I was having to contract my cheeks.

Needless to say I absolutely destroyed the cubicle in the men's room...went out of my way to clean up the devastation as best as I could but left a cloud of funk I the air. As I was walking out one of the boys from the band Blue walked in.

It wasn't nice spending the rest of the night shifting uncomfortably in my seat with ringstink to contend with.

Proper fucking embarrassing that was

jooliandix 1:28 Mon Apr 13
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Look up Alabama hot pocket,that would be a weird place to have a pony.

Bungo 12:30 Mon Apr 13
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Fella I know was driving to a wedding with his wife one weekend. He needed a dump so they stopped at the next motorway services where the deed was done.

Back in the car on the motorway both he and his wife became aware of a really bad smell in the car that only seemed to be getting worse.

When they stopped at the next services to investigate, he realised that the unusually long tails of his dress shirt had been in the way of the loo paper when wiping his arse at the last stop, and had held onto much of the shit that should have been flushed away with the loo paper.

Before she’d get back in the car with him, some scissors were found and the shirt tails were snipped off well above the disaster zone.

bruuuno 1:13 Mon Apr 13
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

I was in Italy when I was 9 on holiday and we went to a pizza restaurant. I needed a shit so went to the toilet and there was just a hole in the floor, no bog roll, nothing. I had to go so just curled ones out down the hole and walked round with a shitty arse all night. Horrible experience

duffster 12:51 Mon Apr 13
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

So,was living in a boat in Little Venice, which did have a toilet, but which was out of order. That meant when I needed a dump I would have to go in the CRT loos about 150 metres away down the towpath.
One night a very old friend who I hadn't seen for years came to visit, and we decided to celebrate, as you do, lots of beers, spliff and a little sniff or two. Few hours later, we are full steam ahead having a wonderful bash, when I get a sudden and urgent pang from my guts. "Back in 10' I tell me mate and off I go. I am about 20 meters from the boat when the amber warning shifts into red.
I freeze. My bum is telling me that I have approximately 10-20 seconds before it erupts. I clenched my buttocks for all I'm worth and lurch into a half stagger, half jog along the towpath. Suddenly a wave of shit comes piling up to my bumhole. I literally yelped and once again froze, but this time clutching at my bum with both hands trying to stem the tide.
In that moment I hear a noise off to my left and look across to see a teenage couple on a bench having a snog. Another yelp slips out of me which interrupts their snog and they turn to look at me. I am looking very distressed, facially contorted and clutching my bum with both hands. Another wave, hits me and I know this is it. I start legging it, moaning as about 6 litres of pure slurry gravy makes its way out of me.
By the time I reach the loo my boots are full, my trousers are full and its all over my hands too. I strip off in the bog and wash everything as best I can in the sink the size of a teabag. Its all over my socks, boots trousers and t shirt. I bundled the whole lot up and naked and still fairly shit-smeared run back to my boat.
As I pass the couple on the bench they look up at the naked jogger covered in poo, with their faces agog.
When I got back to the boat, i put my head inside the hatch, my mate says 'you been gone ages'.

chim chim cha boo 11:09 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Some great stories on this thread. Reminds me of the old days.

chim chim cha boo 10:58 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

joe royal 7:22 Sun Apr 12

Yes it was mate.

eusebiovic 10:54 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

PwoperNaughtyButNot 10:31 Sun Apr 12

That was you wasn't it?

Be honest

ChillTheKeel 3:42 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Where's East Ham Bull gone?

Gary Strodders shank 3:41 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

In the eighties a work colleague of mine had an old Morris marina with a dodgy passenger door that wouldn’t lock properly, he lived in a flat above some shops which also had a pub and used to park the car in the service road.at the front.
He used to pick me up in the mornings and on this particular day turned up as per usual, as I opened the door he pulled the passenger seat forward and beckoned me to get in the back I did so and enquired as to why ?
He pulled the seat forward again and there it was, a Cumberland sausage of a turd “I’ll clean it off at lunch” he proclaimed in a matter of fact kind of way”second time it’s happened”
After that Mikes old marina was commonly referred to at work as Shitty Shitty Bang Bang.
I also chose to get the bus to work.

jooliandix 3:14 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Hosed not hissed

jooliandix 3:11 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

I shit myself in a restaurant toilet (not in the cubicle),I was doubled up in pain as I’d eaten too much hot food in the Mongolian Barbeque in Covent Garden,there was only one shitter and I could hear the bloke inside doing gear,as he opened the door I stood up and the world just fell out of my arse.I had to clean myself up with my socks and pants.We managed to get a cab home to Wennington,I don’t think the driver had a sense of smell,but as he was a Tottenham fan I couldn’t care less about the stench I left behind as we got out.The missus made me strip in the back garden as she hissed me down before she would let me in the house.

Knicker Wetter 2:59 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

On Richard Keys chest

Tomshardware 2:49 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Unusual place was a country garden I worked in, must have been approximately 5-10 turds I had there, most buried under the lawn. 1 or 2 in the adjacent woods. When I stopped working there I wondered if my crimes would be uncovered. Apparently it takes a year or 2 for a poo to fully decompose.

Far Cough 2:39 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Hahahaha, whoareya is the winner

whoareya 2:37 Sun Apr 12
Re: Most unusual or embarrassing place you’ve had a sh*t

Asbestos stripping in the nineties was in full PPE with a battery-operated full-face mask. That Pulled the outside air in and blew up to your face. Anyway, about three hours into the job getting the urge for a dump cannot go outside as this means going through a decontamination cycle too long before a shit. Looking around decided to find somewhere to strip off and have a dump grabbed some rags we were using and found a corner all to my self. Unbelted the negative air pressure unit and placed on the floor, still working and left the mask on. Squatted and dumped into a red bag this is the colour for asbestos waste all beautiful relief just started to wipe my arse, and the foulest stink came up in the mask. Gagging and trying to raise the filter motor for fresh air and finish cleaning my arse with eyes watering and coughing for fresh air I couldn't stand it and run away naked with this air filter pack bouncing behind me. Recomposed myself went back don't know why I thought it was a good idea to hold my breath, and deep breath goes back cleans my arse. Trying to put the decontaminating suite back on got both legs through just going to put my arms in. I have to breathe so I exhaled and ready for some fresh air fuck me whack another gulp of shit smell what the fuck did I drink or eat for this it was atrocious and sickly. Couldn't run away this time as the suit was halfway down my legs so tried shuffling away and tripped up on the floor I just rolled away with the air filter bobbing along behind me. Sorted my self out what do I do with this bag of shit I know chuck it out with the asbestos, so I taped the bag head, it looked half full, I put it in a clear bag and taped this up the same as we do with all the other bags. Next day we had to remove all the last days asbestos bags this involves washing and cleaning all the bags before they are placed into a skip. This shit bag went through everyone laughed as it was so light not knowing what's inside. The two blokes who took the bags and placed them in the skip did not return we had another load ready for them. About twenty minutes later they returned grey ashen-faced with red eyes and snot coming out there nose fuck whats the matter asked. One said we were placing the bags in the skip and this terrible smell came up. We both started being sick the smell was awful we might have to call the police as there must be a dead body in the bags I ran back into the tent and could not stop laughing it hurt so much. I had to tell them what happened we all had a laugh was glad when the job was finished after that I was the main one for all there jokes. Worse one was we had to wear wellies, so we wore long socks halfway through one day a strange smell came up right back of the throat horrible smell said to one of the lads whats that smell he said it was stale water from the boilers when we fished and went through the showers they had stuffed a week old sock above the power pack air filters.

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